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Quotes

  • 2006-11-10: Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
    -- Benjamin Franklin
  • 2006-08-21: The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool.
    -- R. P. Feynman
  • 2006-08-17: Visit heaven for the climate, hell for the company.
    -- Mark Twain
  • 2006-03-13: If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer.
    -- Alfred North Whitehead
  • 2006-01-12: The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?
    -- xterm (from IRC)
  • 2006-01-12: A clever person solves a problem.
    A wise person avoids it.
    -- Albert Einstein
  • 2006-01-12: On the radio, Jimmy Connors said the best advice he ever got was from Bobby Riggs:
    • Do it
    • Do it right
    • Do it right now
  • 2005-08-08: It is practically impossible to teach good programming style to students that have had prior exposure to BASIC; as potential programmers, they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
    -- Edsger W. Dijkstra, SIGPLAN Notices, V 17, N 5
  • 2005-07-06: If you're not liberal when you're young, you have no heart. If you're not conservative when you're older, you have no brain.
    -- Falsely Attributed to Winston Churchill
  • 2005-03-25: The customer can have any color he wants, so long as it's black.
    -- Henry Ford
  • 2005-03-25: History is more or less bunk.
    -- Henry Ford
  • 2005-02-15: There are those that look at things the way they are, and ask why? I dream of things that never were, and ask why not?
    -- Robert F. Kennedy
  • 2005-01-16: A good plan executed right now is far better than a perfect plan executed next week.
    -- George S. Patton
  • 2004-10-08: If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
    -- W.C. Fields
  • 2004-07-15: The place where optimism most flourishes is the lunatic asylum.
    -- Havelah Ellis
  • 2004-07-15: An optimist is a guy that has never had much experience.
    -- Don Marquis
  • 2004-07-15: Stupidity's the deliberate cultivation of ignorance.
    -- William Gaddis
  • 2004-07-15: Apology is only egotism wrong side out.
    -- Oliver Wendell Holmes
  • 2004-06-11: Rules for Men:
    1. Always put the toilet seat down.
    2. No means no. Sometimes yes means no.
    3. Don't tell a woman she looks beautiful. She may wonder if she looked beautiful before or ever will again. Tell her that she is beautiful.
    -- Brian Tucker
  • 2004-06-11: The most certain way to succeed is to always try one more time.
    -- Thomas Edison
  • 2004-06-11: Never ask a person what to do, always tell him or her. If it's the wrong thing to do, or if there is a better way, they'll come back and tell you. But if you don't tell them what to do, they won't do anything but make a study.
    -- Eugenia Schwartzwald in Peter Drucker's memoir Adventures of a Bystander
  • 2004-05-06: Always forgive your enemy. Nothing annoys him as much.
    -- Oscar Wilde
  • 2004-03-09: Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
    Answer: "I would not live forever because we should not live forever, because, if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever.
    -- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA Contest
  • 2004-03-09: Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean, I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.
    -- Mariah Carey
  • 2004-03-09: Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are.
    -- Mat Lauer on NBC's Today Show
  • 2004-03-09: I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.
    -- David Dinkins, New York City Mayor answering accusations that he failed to pay his ta
  • 2004-03-09: Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.
    -- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become a spokesperson for a federal anti-smoki
  • 2004-03-09: We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
    -- Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks
  • 2004-03-09: I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
    -- Hillary Clinton, commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents
  • 2004-03-09: China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese.
    -- Former French President, Charles De Gaulle
  • 2004-03-09: Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.
    -- Mayor Marios Barry, Washington, D.C.
  • 2004-03-09: It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.
    -- Former U.S. Vice President, Dan Quayle
  • 2004-02-13: A joke's a very serious thing.
    -- Winston Churchill
  • 2004-02-13: A journey of a thousand miles starts under one's feet.
    -- Lao Tzu
  • 2004-02-13: A keyboard? How quaint.
    -- Scotty (Star Trek IV)
  • 2004-02-13: A king, eh? Well, I didn't vote for you...
    -- Monty Python and the Holy Grail
  • 2004-02-13: Trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your own teeth.
    -- Alan Watts
  • 2003-12-30: Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.
    -- Charles Schultz
  • 2003-12-30: A clever man commits no minor blunders.
    -- Johann von Goethe
  • 2003-12-08: An eye for an eye only leads to more blindness.
    -- Margaret Atwood
  • 2003-11-27: Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
    -- Will Rogers
  • 2003-11-27: In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
    -- Richard M. Nixon
  • 2003-11-27: History is always written wrong, and so needs to be rewritten.
    -- George Santayana
  • 2003-11-27: Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
    -- Douglas Adams
  • 2003-11-27: What I like about deadlines is the lovely whooshing sound they make as they rush past.
    -- Douglas Adams
  • 2003-11-27: A Jedi must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind.
    -- Yoda
  • 2003-11-27: A Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and defense, never for attack.
    -- Yoda
  • 2003-11-27: A penny saved is a penny earned.
    -- Benjamin Franklin
  • 2003-11-27: A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history – with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
    -- Mitch Ratcliffe
  • 2003-11-27: A scratch?!? Your arm's off!
    -- Monty Python's Quest for the Holy Grail
  • 2003-11-27: A Simpson on a T-shirt? I never thought I'd see the day!
    -- Marge
  • 2003-11-27: A belief is not true because it is useful.
    -- H. F. Amiel
  • 2003-11-27: A billion dollars isn't what it used to be.
    -- Nelson Bunker Hunt
  • 2003-11-27: A bird can fly, but a fly can't bird.
    -- Tao of Pooh
  • 2003-11-18: Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
    -- Albert Einstein
  • 2003-11-17: We cannot walk alone. And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall march ahead. We cannot turn back.
    -- Martin Luther King Jr
  • 2003-11-13: A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
    -- Joseph Stalin
  • 2003-10-18: The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.
    -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • 2003-10-18: Journalists seemed to love the fact that, while (Bill) Gates lived in a high-tech lakeside mansion, I was tripping over my daughters' playthings in a three-bedroom ranch with bad plumbing.
    -- Linus Torvalds
  • 2003-10-18: Nuclear war can ruin your whole compile.
    -- Karl Lehenbauer
  • 2003-10-18: Development costs money, quality costs money, support costs money. We have yet to see a Linux business model that has any chance of long-term success.
    -- Doug Miller, Microsoft
  • 2003-10-18: If the code and the comments disagree, then both are probably wrong.
    -- Norm Schryer
  • 2003-10-18: The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do.
    -- B.F. Skinner
  • 2003-10-18: Some people fear that technology will become more engaging than live human interactions. That's silly; technology is already way more interesting than other people.
    -- Scott Adams
  • 2003-10-18: Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25!
    -- Andrew Rutherford
  • 2003-10-18: I cannot conceive that anybody will require multiplications at the rate of 40,000 or even 4,000 per hour.
    -- F.H. Wales, 1936
  • 2003-10-18: There are three kinds of death in this world. There's heart death, there's brain death, and there's being off the network.
    -- Guy Almes
  • 2003-10-18: One of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
    -- Robert Firth
  • 2003-10-18: There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in his home.
    -- Ken Olson, DEC, 1977
  • 2003-10-18: Consistently separating words by spaces became a general custom about the tenth century A.D., and lasted until about 1957, when FORTRAN abandoned the practice.
    -- Sun FORTRAN Manual
  • 2003-10-18: The only people who have anything to fear from free software are those whose products are worth even less.
    -- David Emery
  • 2003-10-18: This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us.
    -- Western Union, 1876
  • 2003-10-18: If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
    -- Scott Adams
  • 2003-10-18: When the grammar checker identifies an error, it suggests a correction and can even makes some changes for you.
    -- MS Word 2.0 User's Guide
  • 2003-10-18: There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence.
    -- Jeremy S. Anderson
  • 2003-10-18: Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.
    -- Pablo Picasso
  • 2003-10-18: Sometimes it pays to stay in bed on Monday, rather than spending the rest of the week debugging Monday's code.
    -- Christopher Thompson
  • 2003-10-18: A computer is like an Old Testament god, with a lot of rules and no mercy.
    -- Joseph Campbell
  • 2003-10-18: Where a calculator on the ENIAC is equipped with 18,000 vacuum tubes and weighs 30 tons, computers of the future may have only 1,000 vacuum tubes and perhaps weigh 1.5 tons.
    -- Popular Mechanics, 1949
  • 2003-10-18: Unix was not designed to stop people from doing stupid things, because that would also stop them from doing clever things.
    -- Doug Gwyn
  • 2003-10-18: Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight.
    -- Bill Gates
  • 2003-10-18: Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is better than nothing.
    -- Dick Brandon
  • 2003-10-18: Where's the "Any" key?
    -- Homer Simpson
  • 2003-10-18: Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work.
    -- Aristotle
  • 2003-10-18: To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it.
    -- G. K. Chesterton, "A Short History of England"
  • 2003-10-18: It's kind of fun to do the impossible.
    -- Walt Disney
  • 2003-10-18: Courage is almost a contradiction in terms. It means a strong desire to live, taking the form of readiness to die.
    -- G. K. Chesterton
  • 2003-10-18: I am ready to meet my maker. Whether or not my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
    -- Winston Churchill
  • 2003-10-18: It's been my experience that AOL was programmed by monkeys randomly tapping at keyboards until a program resulted. Similar to the way Microsoft does it, except with slightly less quality control.
    -- Steven Wilson
  • 2003-10-18: Never invoke the gods unless you really want them to appear. It annoys them very much.
    -- G. K. Chesterton
  • 2003-10-18: Those who desire to give up Freedom in order to gain Security, will not have, nor do they deserve, either one.
    -- Thomas Jefferson
  • 2003-10-18: The right to be heard does not include the right to be taken seriously.
    -- Hubert H. Humphrey
  • 2003-10-18: The only difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.
    -- Albert Einstein
  • 2003-10-18: The most aggravating thing about the younger generation is that I no longer belong to it.
    -- Albert Einstein
  • 2003-10-18: The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
    -- Alan Kay
  • 2003-10-18: Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not even sure about the universe.
    -- Albert Einstein
  • 2003-10-18: Everywhere is walking distance... if you have the time.
    -- S. Wright
  • 2003-10-18: Cats regard people as warm-blooded furniture.
    -- Jacquelyn Mitchard
  • 2003-10-14: 640k ought to be enough for anybody.
    -- Bill Gates, 1981
  • 2003-09-29: Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work.
    -- Aristotle
Michigan was the first state to plow its roads. Tyler Akins! <>
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