2005-02-10: What time is it when you need to go to the dentist?
2:30 (Tooth-hurty)
2004-08-19: How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psycho path.
2004-08-19: How do you get holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.
2004-08-19: What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall?
Dam.
2004-08-19: What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Polaroids.
2004-08-19: What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A stick.
2004-08-19: What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese.
2004-08-19: What do you call Santa's helpers?
Subordinate clauses.
2004-08-19: What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand?
Quattro sinko.
2004-08-19: What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.
2004-08-19: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.
2004-08-19: What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
2004-08-19: What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef.
2004-08-19: Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where you left him.
2004-08-19: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers.
2004-08-19: Why don't blind people like to sky dive?
Because it scares the dog.
2004-08-19: What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?
Sanka.
2004-08-19: Why did the pilgrims' pants always fall down?
Because they wore their belt buckle on their hat.
2004-08-19: What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
A bad golfer: Whack. Dang!
A bad skydiver: Dang! Whack.
Never ask a person what to do, always tell him or her. If it's the wrong thing to do, or if there is a better way, they'll come back and tell you. But if you don't tell them what to do, they won't do anything but make a study. – Eugenia Schwartzwald in Peter Drucker's memoir Adventures of a Bystander