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: What time is it when you need to go to the dentist?
: How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psycho path.
: How do you get holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.
: What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall?
: What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
: What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
: What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
: What do you call Santa's helpers?
: What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand?
: What do you get from a pampered cow?
: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
: What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
: What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef.
: Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where you left him.
: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers.
: Why don't blind people like to sky dive?
Because it scares the dog.
: What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?
: Why did the pilgrims' pants always fall down?
Because they wore their belt buckle on their hat.
: What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
A bad golfer: Whack. Dang!
A bad skydiver: Dang! Whack.
The average human blinks 12 times a minute. Assuming they are awake for 16 hours a day, that's about 11,500 times each day, and about 4.2 million times a year.
Tyler Akins <